Saturday, September 25, 2010

My Newest Hero

I should be continuing my last post, but this is too good to pass up.
Oh dear reader, I will now tell you the story of my newest hero, Prince Leonard of Hutt. Hutt you say,dear reader,wherever in the world is that? Why its a small farm in West Australia. Why does it have a prince? Well that is where we begin our story.
An Australian mathematician and physicist formerly working for NASA,decided to settle his family down on a nice wheat farm in West Australia. He was a smart man and a veteran of WW2, he worked hard and his farm thrived. Cue the evil music, toccata en fugue. The mans farm does so well, that they exceed the wheat allowance hes legally allowed to grow. The government steps in and says to our hero, "you cannot sell your wheat because you broke the rules that we recently made up but haven't passed yet." The farmer is outraged and demands a retrial. The government then decides to drop the allotment case and instead to just take his land from him outright.
At this point there is only so much a hardworking man can take. He gathers up his family, steels his resolve, and secedes from Australia. The Hutt River Province becomes the Hutt River Principality. The government has two years to dispute his secession, but they dont do that for three years. When the government finally replies to him, they do so as "Administrator of Hutt River Province." When they addressed him as much, they legally made him that figure. Our man then declared himself the Prince and Monarch of his new land. Under British law from the 1400's any Monarch is free from criminal prosecution for his acts, and anyone acting against him becomes the criminal. The government of West Australia rants and raves to no avail. They take it up with the main Commonwealth government. They cant do anything either, they made the bed and would have to lie in it. In a last ditch effort to slap the Prince down, the government stopped their mail and filed for tax evasion.
The Prince would not stand for such aggression from a neighboring power and declared war against Australia. He had no army to speak of, but he had principle. A few days later he ended hostilities. Australia, ready to pull out its own hair at this point, relented. The mail was restored, and Hutt citizens were never again asked to pay taxes to Australia. Draconian laws from trumped up government toadies lost against a man of conviction and resolve.
Surely this was all a bit of a laugh and everything went back to the way it was. You cant fight city hall after all. Well ,dear reader, you'll be happy to note that the actions I just described to you happened well over thirty years ago. The Principality of the Hutt River, or Hutt River Principality is still going strong today. While never recognized by any major world governments, the Prince and his family have traveled throughout the world on diplomatic missions. He has spoken with the Pope and written for Universities across the globe. His Passports are usually accepted at Ports of Entry (Before the new patriot act rules went through, see the sad story of the Iroquois Nations Lacrosse team not being accepted to play in England because of their Iroquois passports.)
This man was in line to be "dirt roaded" by his government for supporting his family. He stood up, spit in their eye, and beat them at their own diplomatic game.
And that is why,dear reader, Prince Leonard of Hutt River is my new hero.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The many stories of Christopher Columbus

There aren't many eras in history where the official version of events is pushed as fiercely as this one. Grade school Social Studies classes all learn that in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue, granted the Indians ( a story right there) the gift of his whiteness, and America was founded. Needless to say, common history is as wrong on this one as it is on the Crusades.

Story one: The Earth was believed to be flat, and Columbus knew better than everyone else.
This Columbus myth is believed and spread by many people who should know better. Greek mathematicians had proven in their time through Astronomy and Geometry that the Earth was "Round." We now know it to be more of a pear shape thanks to the space program. Scholars of the fifteenth century would not only have known about these writings, they would have them memorized. In fact the only people who would think the earth is flat would be the peasant on the farm, if he ever thought about such silly non agricultural matters at all. All one had to do would be to watch a ship sail over the horizon to see the proof of the spherical theory. These sailors did not fall off the edge of the earth, and sometimes even returned home safely to prove that. The Catholic Church is often blamed for the flat earth theory. However, any churchman worth his cassock could quote Ptolemy's calculations. Columbus is still given credit as being right when everyone else was ignorant. This leads us to our next Columbus story.
Story Two: Columbus knew exactly how far he would have to travel to reach China, and all the other scholars had miscalculated the voyage.
Columbus was turned down by the councilors of Portugal and even at first the Spanish councilors because his calculations were laughably inaccurate. Using the aforementioned Geometry of the Greeks, these councilors knew that it would take a year to reach Japan from the Iberian peninsula. Since this was also the time it took to sail to India, the new route was not only dangerous, but pointless. Columbus believed that Japan was three to five times its actual size, and that it lay on the equator. Columbus pigheadedly believed his calculations were correct and plowed ahead with his funding campaign. If it hadn't been for the mislabeled West Indies, Columbus and his men would have died of thirst and hunger long before they reached sight of the real Indies.
Now that we have that cleared up we can get into the fun parts. The conspiracy theories of the Colombian voyage. There are almost as many stories swirling around this as the Kennedy Assassinations.
Conspiracy Story One: Columbus wasn't the brave voyager we think he was. He in fact had maps of the exact places he would end up.
I hesitate to consider this a "conspiracy theory" as it could very well be true.
Years before Columbus ever thought to sail west, a vast Chinese fleet docked in the major Italian harbors. Their mission was to spread Confucian knowledge throughout the world, and to bring back tribute. They imparted unto the Italians a twelve volume encyclopedia of inventions and knowledge of the Chinese Empire. Maps of far flung places were presented to the Pope, including a map of the coast line of a "new" continent. Columbus studied this map in the Library of the King of Portugal. It is true that the Chinese had reached the west coast of America and that they docked in Europe, delivering many brilliant things. (There is a strong theory that Da Vinci was just illustrating copies of these manuscripts, and not really inventing his machines at all.) If Columbus really had seen these maps, then why did he think he would get to china through this continent? I believe his theories were just a smokescreen to ensure his reaching the continent first. After all, his deal with the Queen made him Governor of any lands found along with ten percent of its revenue. If he was sailing to the lands of Japan and China with three poorly armed ships how could he become Governor of those lands? It doesn't add up. Columbus knew way more than he let on.

Conspiracy Theory Two: Columbus was descended from a Templar family, and thus gained knowledge of the "New World." The Templars had been coming to the "New World" for years during their reign, and knew of its vast wealth.
While you may scoff at the story of Templars reaching the new world, think more about it. The Norse were able to do it in their boats, and the Templars had a massive sea going fleet. Oddly enough a treasure fleet that was never captured by the Pope, it disappeared. There is a tribe of natives in north eastern Canada that has a story of of their gods. Bearded men who held court on a mountain. The concept of holding court was entirely foreign to those people. Scoff again dear reader. When that same tribe was told they must pick a flag for their nation, they chose something eerily similar to the flag of the Templar family Sinclair. This family has a legend of some of its Templar Knights leaving for America.

This is the flag of the Mikmaq Tribal Grand Council and the battle flag of the Sinclair family. Explain that to me oh scoffing reader? Could Columbus have grown up on tales of this strange new world?
This also might tie in with Columbus' trip to England and Ireland as a younger man. The Templars of course found homes all over Britain as Europe closed its hearts to them. The evidence is there, but who knows if it could be true...

I have much more to say on the topic, but I will stop here for now. Next time we can get into more theories and my favorite, the what if scenarios.
So long for now dear reader.